Lessons learned from burn-out
With five books in print, psychotherapist Anna Mather is a successful author and popular speaker. Her Instagram following (@annamathur) tops 225,000; her weekly podcasts ‘The Therapy Edit’ have been downloaded 3 million times and her regular webinars attract hundreds for each workshop. She is in demand as a feature-writer for a list of top-flight magazines and newspapers like Red, Marie Claire, Psychologies, Mother and Baby, The Telegraph, The Sun and the Daily Mail, and she’s been a guest on several TV and radio shows. Her website www.annamathur.com is ‘packed with practical tips and light bulb moments’ in the Anna Mathur Toolkit. During the Covid 19 lockdowns, her free mental health webinars were viewed by 10,000 mums.
Anna describes herself as a creative psychotherapist and entrepreneur with a compassionate heart. She doesn’t see herself as a successful business woman or strategists, but she has found ways to thrive and excel in her chosen field, sharing her expertise and being honest about her own story.
In her first four books Anna was circumspect about her Christian faith. She is much more open about her faith in her latest book: The Uncomfortable Truth: Change Your Life By Taming 10 of Your Mind's Greatest Fears. Published by Penguin Life, this book tackles the fears we have that are anchored in the unavoidable truths of life: some people don’t like me; I’m going to fail; life isn’t fair; bad things happen; we will lose the people we love and we lack the control we crave.
Anna wrote the book in two weeks, against the advice of everyone around her. ‘I’ve observed these ten things through years of working as a psychotherapist and also my own fears – the things that were holding me back,’ she says.
The idea for the book is God-given, she explains. It came to her when she was preparing to give a TEDx talk. She wrote the titles and chapter headings down in 30 seconds on her phone. Despite not having a book deal secured, the idea stayed with her. She had planned to write it simply as a passion project to get it out of her system and she felt God tell her to write it in just two weeks. She finished it on a Sunday and by the Thursday a crisis had overwhelmed her life and she knew she would not be able to write for the next year. But when her editor came to ask for her next book, she was able to hand over the finished book and they agreed to publish it, even though it is not a motherhood book like the others.
Looking back over her life so far, Anna attributes her compassion to her Mum; a Christian who taught her to see beyond the behaviour of hurtful school friends to understand them. Her younger sister died from cancer when Anna was just ten-years-old; these experiences and many more have shaped her understanding of people, she says.
“Know you can’t do it all; know your limits; value ‘good enough’ over ‘perfect”
After graduating with a psychology degree, Anna had to wait until she was 25 before being allowed to qualify to become an accredited psychotherapist. She gained a range of experience in the intervening years: marketing and advertising; working as student and women’s pastor for St Mark’s Battersea and even earning some extra cash providing gel manicures. But she was approaching burnout with her self-worth coming from what she did: ‘I had no boundaries,’ she says.
Since then she has learned to put strict boundaries between her home and work life. She has also tackled perfectionism – advice she gives to others: ‘Know you can’t do it all; know your limits; value “good enough” over “perfect”.’
After she married and was expecting her first child she and her husband moved to Surrey and joined the Guildford-based Emmaus Rd church. Her second child was unwell as a baby and Anna suffered from post-natal depression. ‘It was very humbling as a psychotherapist, but it was a turning point as I knew I needed other people to help.’
“Having a creative brain can be lonely. Gospel Entrepreneurs is a network of people who ‘get it’.”
Anna took on Ella Dibb, the 25-year-old founder of Rose Nannies, who helped with all three of Anna’s children – one of whom is autistic. As well as providing support for the children, Ella introduced Anna to Gospel Entrepreneurs, which is giving Anna the mentoring support she needs for her business.
‘Having a creative brain can be lonely. Gospel Entrepreneurs is a network of people who “get it”. It gives me a feeling of being understood when I’m surrounded by people who are driven in a similar way.’
Anna admits ‘I have no strategy for my business. I’ve had my fingers burnt in the past, using a business name that had been trade-marked by someone else for example. Also, my accountant is very patient with me; maths is not my strong point!’
The Gospel Entrepreneurs mentoring offers accountability, helping Anna to make wise decisions as well as integrating the entrepreneur with the gospel. Praying before every podcast and interviews, as well as writing more opening about her Christian faith, is becoming more natural as Anna’s journey with Gospel Entrepreneurs develops.
You can listen to Anna Mather’s interview with Roy Crowne in the Gospel Entrepreneurs podcast series here.